All my bits

Top words of the day

2011-07-12T13:32:00.001+01:00

Tweets and top words of the day> Manchester united,fergie, hacking,euromillions, youtube, harry potter,cheryl cole, kate price, google, lady gaga, emma watson, twitter, facebook, celebs, xfacter, coronation street, emmerdale, eastenders, search, william and kate, the queen, beckham, david cameron, ebay,

How did you find all my bits

2010-01-21T20:57:00.002Z

Thank you for veiwing my blog, all my bits. I would be grateful if you could tell me how you found me, ie what search you used? What search engine ect. Please advise me in comments.

Thank you

The further adventures of Carl and Agnus.

2009-06-22T08:34:00.007+01:00

It was time to clean out Stanleys cage. Stanley is a ten year old South American parrot, that speaks perfect English. "p*** o**" said Stanley. Now come on Stanley you know you have to be cleaned. Just then there was a bang on the door. Oh it must be Agnus back from the shops. Yes it was Agnus escorted by two policemen. "Have a nice f****** day" said Agnus to the two nice policemen, now walking down the path.

"Hello slag" shouted Stanley. "f*** o**" said Agnus. "Did you have a nice time at the shops Agnus?". " mind your own f****** business" said Agnus. I was glad Agnus was in a good mood, it made a nice change.

"Would you like a nice cup of tea Agnus?" " I hate f****** tea" said Agnus. Agnus had gone off tea ever since she had been de-ported, two years ago. Its a long story, but the main reason was when she set fire to the hotel bedroom because she said she felt cold.

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Ghost at Speke Hall?

2009-06-15T21:07:00.008+01:00

This image of the entrance to Speke Hall in Liverpool was taken in May 2009. If you look carefully in the arch to the left of the door I can make out what looks like a femail person in a long dress looking at, what looks like a dog on the other side of the door.

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Bad Driving

2009-06-13T22:03:00.002+01:00

Have you seen a bad driver? Have they been driving too fast? Name and shame here.

Just add their registration number, time and place into comments.

Liverpool a place with everything

2009-06-10T14:49:00.017+01:00

Liverpool has everything. Great shopping, interesting sights,museums,the Albert dock,two cathedrals. Take a look!

Liverpool One shopping area.

I must grumble

2009-06-07T22:39:00.006+01:00

Ok so how many of you voted Labour on Thursday? Ok so just Mr Brown. So how many of you voted for the Looney party? Ok so none of you voted Tory. Ok so how many of you want to be an Mp? Oh! All of you. Why is that? You want an expenses account; well I am sorry you will just have to join the queue.

Now next week I have to pay for my street light and my bin to be emptied that is going to cost me £128, £1280 per year. Funny that on average in Spain it only costs £200 per year for your bin to be emptied every day. Still I should think there may be councillor’s expenses to pay.

Now as I am sure you all know Dewhurst the butcher is now the new owner of the Post office. You can find the Post office on the 1st floor of W H Smith. If you telephone the Post office you will need to look in a phone book compiled by Dewhurst the butcher. You will need to look under Royal Mail, who will then tell you that you have got the wrong number. Please redial and ring W H Smith they will tell you they know nothing about it, and have you tried the one stop shop, who may have something to do with Abdul Amid, where you can pay your water bill. Sounds familiar! You have not seen anything yet. Just you wait until Dewhurst the butcher starts to sell meat.

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A Man thing, sorry girls

2009-06-03T19:31:00.016+01:00

The following article was written for me from a male colleague where i work. So to all you female readers I hope you dont mind if we have a bit of fun. Please read on!!

The Man Rules. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.We always hear " the rules "From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday sports : It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides.Let it be.1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Motorbikes , or Football,or golf, or $ex .1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh.Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.

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Contact Me

2009-06-02T10:45:00.006+01:00

If you want to contact any of the following people looking for a date,please put contact information in the comments.

Male: aged 48
Height: 5' 9"
Build: medium
Name: Andy
Caring, and with good sence of humour. Likes getting out to visit places.

Femail: aged 33
Height: 5' 2"
Build: small
Name: Jan
Looking for someone to look after me, I am single and have a 5 year old girl.

All my Antioxidants.

2009-05-31T20:01:00.016+01:00

It has been shown convincingly that those of us that eat more antioxidant-rich foods are less prone to heart disease,stroke,cataracts and some cancers. The major antioxidants from food that can help our defence system are vitamin c and e.

The evidence strongly suggests that it is best to eat antioxidants in foods, these include red and orange vegetables, such as sweet potato, and red pepper,and all fruit.

Deficiency of the minerals selenium,zinc and copper reduces antioxidant defences, and excess iron can encourage oxidation.

The RDA in the UK for vitamin c is 60mg per day. I like to take 500mg per day, in tablet form, however if I feel unwell or tired I will take 1-3 grams per day (1,000-3,000mg), for about 3 days, and have proved time and again a speedy return to good health.

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Todays lucky numbers

2009-05-30T10:13:00.002+01:00

30 may 2009 7,8,19,27,33,39,40,43,45,49.

01 June 2009 1,2,3,17,21,30,39,41,46,47.

03 June 2009 5,11,19,23,28,31,32,40,42,47,

06 June 2009 4,9,13,14,25,28,30,37,42,43,

All my health

2009-05-28T10:42:00.003+01:00

Great Healing Foods:

ASPARAGUS:relieve indigestion, it has a diuretic effect,and is a traditional sedative.

CELERY: Can help regulate blood pressure. It has a diuretic effect,and is a traditional soother.

GREEN LEAF VEGETABLES: Can lower the risk of cancer. It can help avoid heart disease and stroke. May cut the risk of cataracts. It may counter anaemia, and regulate blood pressure.

FENNEL: Is a traditional aid to digestion. May help regulate hormone levels. Traditionally used for coughs. Can help to avoid high levels of blood pressure.

PUMPKINS: Lower risk of cancer, heart disease, and stroke due to the high level of antioxidants.

RED PEPPER: Has a high level of antioxidants, and is rich in vitamin c.

SEAWEED: Has a high level of vitamin b12. May have some anti cancer action.

SPINACH: May reduce the risk of cancer. May protect eye degeneration. Lessons the chance of Spina Bifida. Provides plenty of potassium.

WATERCRESS: Helps avoid, and treat infections. Traditional treatment for exzema. Helps guard against Spina Bifida.
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All my words

2009-05-27T19:18:00.010+01:00

Manchester United, Tory, Expences, Car Scrappage, Taxpayers,Virus,Elections,FA Cup Final,Vauxhall,Diversity,Heatwave,

Swine Flu,General Motors,Titanic,Susan Boyle,Recession,Gordon Brown,House,Free,Your fired!

All my Jokes.

2009-05-26T15:49:00.001+01:00

Two cows were talking in a field one day.
The first cow said: "Have you heard about the Mad Cow Disease that's going around?"
The second cow said: "Yes, it makes you glad you're a penguin doesn't it?"

Having announced that he was going to marry a woman of twenty four, a ninety year old man was persuaded by his friends and family to undergo a medical examination to see whether he was still sexually fit.
The doctor said: " Let me see your sex organs."
The man stuck out his tongue and middle finger!

If I knew where I was going to die, I would'nt go anywhere near it!!

The Army has been experimenting for years to come up with a liquid that will eat through anything and they finally did it. It eats through glass, stainless steel, iron,and all kinds of metal, rock and granite. Now if they could only find something to put it in.

All my pictures

2009-05-25T16:32:00.001+01:00

Is this Malaga or Rhyl?

The River Dee at Chester

Me and my new car
Me and the wife

A lifes guide in an old poem

2009-05-23T12:33:00.001+01:00

Desiderata a manuscript dated 1692.

This was found in St Pauls church Baltimore, and for those who are too busy,frustrated,worried or fraught to read it, please try to,it is very interesting,and you may take comfort from it.

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all people. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive people they are a vexation to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble it may be, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery, but let this not blind you to what virtue there is, many persons strive for high ideals, and even when life is full of heroism “be yourself”, especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nature strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should be. Therefore be at peace with god, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shams drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful, strive to be happy.
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Lovely flowers

2009-05-22T10:51:00.001+01:00

What a better way to start by showing you these lovely flowers that my wife got from me, when I was naughty. I can't remember what I had done in fact I don't think I had done anything, but still I was naughty, and here are the flowers.

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